Saturday, October 12, 2013
Sometimes When You
Take the hardest way
That don't mean that your star
Is leading you astray
Forget fashion symposium
You'll get panoramic
All I got to say my friend
All I got to say my friend
- Gogol Bordello, "In The Meantime In Pernambuco "
* * *
Faithlessness is our sin. We trade the difficulty of believing in our lives for the ease of giving up on them. When challenged by our mistakes to set things aright we see only the waste, the horrific piles of getting it wrong and just when we need to be able to think and see clearly, our sense of direction evaporates in the face of the task before us. We are faithless to ourselves, to the life in our veins, to those we say we love, to the one moment we have to live. We shame ourselves because we have come to accept the shame of others: consumerism, corporatism, the endless comparisons between what you have and what you want and never a minute for what you need.
Here is what you need: food, shelter, love and work that suits your hands. That's it.
Pornography isn't simply naked bodies exploited for cash, but it is also glossy magazines and TV shows filled with perfect homes, and exotic foods and clothes you are told you must wear - anything that makes you feel less that who and what you are, that stirs dis-satisfaction with being alive and being who you are, that tells you unless you buy this, own this, act like this (all for someone else's profit) then you really aren't worth much are you?
Stupid fucks that we are, we ingest this shit and ask for seconds.
Forget fashion symposium. You'll get panoramic. All I got to say, my friend, stay aerodynamic.
* * *
The soul of all wisdom is this: things change.
But we hate it. Change is neither good nor bad. Simply endless. I grieved my father's death for seven hard years because I would not let go of the pain - not of his death, but the fact I knew so little of him while he lived. Things end. Other things begin. What we want to hold still, hold steady skitters away like beads of mercury and what we don't want seemingly refuses to leave, to transform itself, to end. Love holds us back and fear tries to hold off the future.
But it changes anyway. You may see it as better or worse, but it changes. Now is not forever. It is just now. Give it a minute. It will change.
When you come to see your life as unchangeable, or if it wasn't for bad luck you'd have no luck at all, then you have stopped yourself from living. Change hurtles on, but you're stuck in the mire of your woe, the muck of your fears. It hurts, baby, it hurts to move sometimes. It hurts to leave something behind. It hurts to take another step because something you loved is gone, or some fear you don't need has arrived. But in the meantime in Pernambuco they dance this wild dance called "russo frevo" and it is said the music will make your feet boil and all you can do is dance it out. It is Carnival. It is a rum-boogie. It is a stomping of the earth to let it know you are here.
All I got to say, my friend, stay aerodynamic!
Life expands in direct proportion to you willingness to engage it - all of it: the good and pleasant and loving and the dark and difficult and fearborn. When you accept that you are all of it, that all of it moves through you then you can move again. When you hold tight to the pain, the loss, the fear, the sense that you can never clean the mess you've made, then it seems as if it was all a hoax, a hustle for the rubes, a Three Card Monty that always has you picking the wrong card.
It simply isn't so.
What is difficult is simply life asking you to get on with it. What is ugly asks that you clean it. What is beautiful and loving asks that you not crush it in your grip. It's going to change. Maybe your love will sweeten, grow in ways you cannot imagine as time passes. Maybe it will be an empty husk. But it will change and how you respond to that will determine what is sweet or bitter for you. Do not let the necessity of change stop you. Get panoramic. Grow large enough to bear your losses and your loves. Become a partner with change. Move. Become aerodynamic and do not fear, do not fear, do not fear. Do not be here faithlessly. You are here to experience what it is like to be here.
Don't give up. Don't give in. You are beautiful as you are.
Now go. You have shit to do.
* * *
* * *
For MJP. May your God bless you, brother.