Monday, October 25, 2010
Happiness Hit Her
Happiness hit her
like a bullet in the brain.
- Florence and The Machine, Dog Days Are Over
* * *
The fucked life is one void of happiness. It never sticks. There can be moments of elation, but happiness? Not so much. And this begs the question as to what happiness is. We all claim we want to live in the reflected glow of happiness, but I doubt we'd know it if we saw it.
Is it the absence of worry, hurt, pain?
Is it additive, a state layered over a baseline of experience?
Is it seminal? topical? internal? eternal?
What is this thing that our Constitution guarantees we have the right to pursue?
I'll give you a hint: I have no fucking idea what it might be for you, but as for me...
* * *
"I doubt whether a doctor can answer this question in general terms. For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment... One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it."
- Viktor Frankl
Now switch out the words meaning/life for happiness.
Or switch their meanings until they are the same.
Your happiness, or lack thereof, is entirely yours to suss out and live. What most people call happiness is a shallow appreciation of pleasant things. Not happiness. Happiness hits like a bullet in the brain, swapping out your easy love of easy things with the crystalline clarity of finally knowing shit from shinola.
No one can "make" you happy. They can please you, but happiness is something other than pleasure or the absence of hurt. It cuts back through all the bullshit, and demands that you live according to your own lights, and do that which only you can do. You have to kill the Buddha in order to be free. This is the essence of happiness.
* * *
You are now free to move about the cabin.