Saturday, September 25, 2010

A Joke What

A joke.

What is the difference between a trans-sexual and a transvestite?

It is really just a question of commitment.

(I think this is really funny.)

* * *

I thumb the pages of books and listen for what shows up. Just as I have sensory blind spots, those physiological dead zones where I cannot smell or taste what you or another might perceive simply because I don't possess the receptors necessary to smell and taste what you do, so, too with seeing and listening and understanding.

How many times must one see something before one sees it?
How many times told?
How many times explained?
How many times?

An infinitude, if you like.

* * *

The man pulling radishes
pointed the way
with a radish.

- Issa (1763 - 1827)

* * *

Die while you're alive
and be absolutely dead.
Then go do whatever you want:
it's all good.

- Bunan (1603 - 1676)

* * *

The eye is easily deceived. It is of two minds: rods and cones. My father was a sailor in the Second World War. This is how he taught me to remember the difference between rods and cones:

When you're out with your girl during the day buy her a cone - your rod works at night.

Staring straight at something in the dark makes it disappear. The cluster of cones is centered in the eye and are useless at night. The rods rim the periphery and so through sidelong glances, through looking away from the thing in front of you can you begin to see it.

I am here to tell you that if your life is fucked the answer is right in front of you, but you just can't see it for all the darkness. Look to the left, try the right, let go of staring at it and you'll see it.

* * *

God is a pure no-thing
concealed in now and here:
the less you reach for him,
the more he will appear.

- Angelus Silesius (1624 - 1677)

* * *

Too much is made of ambition, the drive to accomplishment, the impulse towards acquisition be it monetary or intellectual. It smacks of being a slave to another's terms. Freedom and peace are not external phenomena - they exist, if they exist at all, as an inward journey that never reaches any imagined shore.

Your life is process only. The goals that are attainable aren't worth your time if you see in them the culmination of all that you are. They are stepping stones in a river only. Stop on any one and the river will carry you away. Keep moving and the river will widen to accommodate you.


When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all its magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how."

- Viktor Frankl

* * *

I have been blessed a hundred thousand hundred thousand times. Always the answers I sought were within my reach, always the answers were given, always the presence of love, of desire stood with me, and almost always I did not see it, did not know it, did not believe it. The answer's simplicity, it's plainness made it seem impossible to be true and I doubted and feared it. To follow up on the joke, I was more transvestite than trans-sexual - I lacked commitment.

But a commitment to what? I've just dissed ambition and accomplishment as ends in themselves. What then?

* * *

Live purely.
Be quiet.
Do your work, with mastery.


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