Maybe it's not all at once, maybe it is more a question of slippage, the incremental and impossible to notice in-the-moment erosion of integrity that happens when an excuse - any excuse is made - but the fucked, invariably, are liars. You can't have one without the other.
Your work is to discover your work
And then with your whole heart
To give yourself to it.
Put your principles in to action - now. Stop with the excuses and procrastination. This is your life! You aren't a child any more.
The great problem is bringing life back into the wasteland, where people live inauthentically.
- Joseph Campbell
Life ultimately means taking responsibility to find the right answer to its problems, and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
- Viktor Frankl
Each is tacking towards the same pole: authenticity. The fucked are inauthentic. The fucked compromise themselves and their lives by claiming exception to the tasks life constantly sets before them. The fucked want to be excused, an exception made for them because they have no ballast, no sense of who they are, and are storm-tossed, rootless, hungry ghosts who have lost the capacity to know they are lying to themselves.
* * *
I know that when I have allowed myself the luxury of being a victim to outside circumstance my life has been miserable, unlivable. This draw to exception, this draw to pity, this draw to woe-is-me compounds, by a power of ten, the already difficult matter of dealing with/overcoming/surviving that outside circumstance because now the burden shifts way from my consciousness and I am at the mercy of a universe that has no such human capacity.
Lies beget more lies and the lies you tell yourself are the worst of all because they infect everything: you are the contagion.
But you are also the cure.
The fucked life does not have to be permanent. It can be and often is, but it can also be undone. Just as the habit of lying to oneself is incremental, so too the cure: it doesn't happen all at once. It happens over time. It happens moment to moment. It happens when you choose to live by your name regardless of anyone's approval, or lack thereof. Happiness is won when you quit making excuses for yourself, when you quit blaming the universe for your troubles and can carry your responsibilities without looking for some one to applaud you.
It is your choice.
... every failure to cope with a life situation must be laid, in the end, to a restriction of consciousness. Wars and temper tantrums are the makeshifts of ignorance; regrets are illuminations come too late.
- Joseph Campbell